If You Can Stand The Worst They Do, Why Break Up?

When someone asks my husband how long he’s been married, he says, “Thirty years…26 of the happiest years of my life.” He’s right, of course. Some years were better than others.

Since it’s Valentine’s Day, I’ve been thinking about relationships. I saw a post on facebook that made me ponder. It asked, “What Valentine’s message would you give to your younger self?”

I’d send the image below, so as I struggled through my twenties trying to find my way in life and relationships, I would know that one day, I would find someone wonderful who loved me more than I could imagine.

one day  If You Can Stand The Worst They Do, Why Break Up? one day









Then I saw another post. This one was more somber.  It reminded me of my husband’s quip, above, and that commitment is not always easy. But just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing.

one of the hardest things  If You Can Stand The Worst They Do, Why Break Up? one of the hardest things








Then I read an interview by Carl Reiner in the Huff Post 50. When asked what kept his marriage of 65 years to Estelle Reiner alive, he answered,

When asked this question, my wife used to say,  “Marry someone who can stand you.” And that’s absolutely true! There are many, many reasons to break up but if you can stand the worst of what they do, why break up? You’re only going to get someone who will annoy you in another way, so whatever little annoyances there are, you can stand that. We were able to stand each other very, very well”.

So perhaps that is my conclusion about relationships on this Valentine’s Day.  If you’re lucky, you’ll find someone terrific, someone who brings out the best in who you are. I know I did. It won’t always be easy. But lots of things that are  hard are worth doing.  And with longevity comes perspective.  You will always find ways to annoy one another, but  in the big scheme of things, they are not important.  So my husband and me? Like the Reiners, we stand each other very, very well.

6 Comments If You Can Stand The Worst They Do, Why Break Up?

  1. Vicki B.

    No wonder your blog has received awards, Margit! Each entry is so interesting and connected to everyday life. Love it!

    1. Margit Novack

      Hi Vicki
      Thanks. The best part of writing the blog are the other blogs I subscribe to into order to be informed about aging and my industry. I feel better informed than I have for years and I am enjoying reading some terrific writing. Thanks for following the Moving Solutions blog.

  2. Susie Danick

    You are always an inspiration wiht what you write and when you speak. This one is so true and I always look forward to the next blog! We “stand” each other, we “deserve”(funny!) each other but most important we love each other!
    30 years together and going strong!

    1. Margit Novack

      My husband says we deserve each other too! It’a true, perhaps no one else could put up with us quite as well as we do with each other.


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