When someone asks my husband how long he’s been married, he says, “Thirty years…26 of the happiest years of my life.” He’s right, of course. Some years were better than others.
Since it’s Valentine’s Day, I’ve been thinking about relationships. I saw a post on facebook that made me ponder. It asked, “What Valentine’s message would you give to your younger self?”
I’d send the image below, so as I struggled through my twenties trying to find my way in life and relationships, I would know that one day, I would find someone wonderful who loved me more than I could imagine.
Then I saw another post. This one was more somber. It reminded me of my husband’s quip, above, and that commitment is not always easy. But just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing.
Then I read an interview by Carl Reiner in the Huff Post 50. When asked what kept his marriage of 65 years to Estelle Reiner alive, he answered,
When asked this question, my wife used to say, “Marry someone who can stand you.” And that’s absolutely true! There are many, many reasons to break up but if you can stand the worst of what they do, why break up? You’re only going to get someone who will annoy you in another way, so whatever little annoyances there are, you can stand that. We were able to stand each other very, very well”.
So perhaps that is my conclusion about relationships on this Valentine’s Day. If you’re lucky, you’ll find someone terrific, someone who brings out the best in who you are. I know I did. It won’t always be easy. But lots of things that are hard are worth doing. And with longevity comes perspective. You will always find ways to annoy one another, but in the big scheme of things, they are not important. So my husband and me? Like the Reiners, we stand each other very, very well.