Weekly Wisdom

When my mother-in-law, Bubbie, died, I said to Bill, “Bubbie was such a big part of your life. I’m surprised you don’t talk about her more.” Bubbie was my best friend,” he replied,“but nothing was left unsaid or undone.” I thought to myself, “How lucky he is. When itcomes to people we love, how many of us have no regrets?

Most of us are “damaged and repaired” by the time we are old. Even though we’ve grown resilient, added pressure — from moving, illness, loss of loved ones, and more — can break us. Being vulnerable is being human.

I seem to have crossed an age thresh hold after which actions that were laughed at when younger are now taken seriously. When there is a mental hiccup now, it’s a source of worry. At 72, I know memory changes have been occurring for 20 years, so while I’m still me, I’m also not who I used to be.

I met a woman my age. She had tried to adopt a 3-year-old dog from a rescue organization and was turned down. There was too much risk that the dog would outlive her, they explained — better she adopt a senior dog. What, the dog would be better with young or middle-aged folks who worked full time? I bet that young shelter dog was willing to take the risk.

When helping my aunt downsize, she said she might wear her pants suits in the future. I couldn’t remind her that the pants could not accommodate the disposable underwear she now wore.

How old are we when we let go of anger toward our parents, realizing that they did the best they could? How old are we when we forgive ourselves for behavior toward our children that we regret?

We are so tempted to avoid people who have experienced a loss or received a bad diagnosis, because we feel uncomfortable or don’t know what to say.

Less than 1/3 of us with hearing loss use hearing aids, often because we believe they mark the user as old. Hearing loss contributes to isolation, depression and cognitive impairment. If you plan to thrive as you age, embrace hearing aids.

Plan B gets a bad wrap, and Plan A is often overrated. Plan B is often a good option, and in retrospect, the better choice. Don’t get stuck on Plan A.

We created a fake lease for my grandmother so she never knew that we subsidized her lease. It wasn’t about deception; it was about preserving her independence and dignity. Would you tell fiblets to spare the feelings of those you care for?

Having “the conversation” was less difficult than I expected. Bubbie had strong opinions and wanted to be consulted. Have you had “the conversation” with your parents or your children?

Tone of voice is definitely what has gotten me in trouble over the years. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it, with family members and employees.

Combatting ageism isn’t a frivolous pastime; it’s life changing.

At 71, I’m a new mama, and I’m excited. No, I’m not expecting a baby. I’m part of a program to create oyster bars to reduce pollution in the St. Martin River, where I live. I joined the program because — why not? Why not help, if you can?

I never minded having implants. In fact, I considered myself quite lucky to live in an age when they were possible. But I minded not having them quite a bit.

Who would get a tattoo on their chest saying, “Do Not Resuscitate” or “No CPR”? Apparently, a lot of people, and it’s creating controversy in the medical world.

Just because a person can’t remember the name of a missing loved one, does not mean they can’t feel that loss in their lives. What’s different is how they react to loss.

“Hello, I am 100 years old. Can someone from your staff help me write to President Obama?” We received this phone call in 2008, and so began our relationship with Eleanor Mills Hatler (not her real name).

Newly retired, I sat in my home office sorting through cartons I had brought home from work: family photos, books about aging, flash drives of files I might need… and my framed diplomas from undergraduate and graduate school. They had hung in my office for years. But did I want them in my retirement home office? The answer was easy — no.